So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize