Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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