Someone shit on the floor
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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