never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
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