This girl is more easily done than said...
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
