it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
