i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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