eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Randomize
