You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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