Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Dick very happy bro
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
