Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
from now on my penis is your penis
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
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