her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Someone signed my nipple.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
