Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize