I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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