I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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