that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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