we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
