Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
