Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
