Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I need a hoe opinion
go on
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
