guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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