I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
