I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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