I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I woke up under a house in Key West
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