I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
