We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize