Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
