the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
