Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
