Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
