I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
