Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Is Oprah even human
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
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