Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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