I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
