It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
The struggles of a small town man whore
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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