There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I wear drunk well.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize