I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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