I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
