I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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