I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize