I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
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