is your mom at the bar?
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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