She said her name was "party"
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
