I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
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it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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