This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize