quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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