A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
