is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
