Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
