i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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