broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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