Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
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