Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
