this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
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