Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
