508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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