these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
So apparently I’m into choking now
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