This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
