I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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