That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
