HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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