I'm so fucking centered right now
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
