I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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