I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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