remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
the room spins SO much faster in panama
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
