i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
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